diff --git a/.claude/skills/contributing-to-loopover/reference.md b/.claude/skills/contributing-to-loopover/reference.md
index 63c5a32c4a..94963bb002 100644
--- a/.claude/skills/contributing-to-loopover/reference.md
+++ b/.claude/skills/contributing-to-loopover/reference.md
@@ -56,6 +56,19 @@ jobs run only if their path filter matched; on push to `main`, everything runs.
 | ui → tests | vitest jsdom (UI) | `npm run ui:test` | failing UI component test |
 | ui → build | UI build | `npm run ui:build` | build failure (note: it re-runs `ui:openapi` internally) |
 
+**The Node-version guard: `test/helpers/vitest-global-setup-node-version.ts`, not just `pretest*`.**
+Every `vitest.config.ts` in the repo (root, `vitest.workers.config.ts`, and every workspace with its own
+config) wires this as `globalSetup`, so it runs once before any test file regardless of how vitest was
+invoked — including a direct `npx vitest run test/unit/<file>.test.ts`, which this doc's own §6 ("Iterate,
+then verify") recommends for fast iteration. `scripts/check-node-version.mjs`'s `pretest*` hooks
+(`package.json`) only cover 5 high-traffic npm script names (`test`, `test:ci`, `test:coverage`,
+`test:workers`, `ui:test`) as a genuinely-faster fail there (before npm even spawns vitest) — they are a
+nicety on top of the globalSetup guarantee, not a substitute for it. An earlier version of this guard was
+`pretest*`-only and missed 8 of 12 vitest-invoking script names, plus every direct `npx vitest` call
+structurally (caught by a repo-wide audit shortly after it shipped, #7619-follow-up) — if you add a new
+top-level test script or workspace, you do not need to remember a matching `pretest*` entry; the
+`globalSetup` wiring already covers it.
+
 **Verifying the built artifact actually serves — do not use `apps/loopover-ui`'s `preview` in the raw
 TanStack Start template sense.** `apps/loopover-ui` targets nitro's `cloudflare-module` preset
 (`vite.config.ts`), which repackages the server build as `dist/server/index.mjs`. `@tanstack/start-plugin-core`'s
diff --git a/apps/loopover-miner-extension/vitest.config.ts b/apps/loopover-miner-extension/vitest.config.ts
index 67700fbf12..c84486df30 100644
--- a/apps/loopover-miner-extension/vitest.config.ts
+++ b/apps/loopover-miner-extension/vitest.config.ts
@@ -4,6 +4,7 @@ export default defineConfig({
   test: {
     environment: "node",
     globals: true,
+    globalSetup: ["../../test/helpers/vitest-global-setup-node-version.ts"],
     include: ["test/**/*.test.ts"],
     coverage: {
       provider: "v8",
diff --git a/apps/loopover-miner-ui/vitest.config.ts b/apps/loopover-miner-ui/vitest.config.ts
index e3b2e08bfb..fa0a388aff 100644
--- a/apps/loopover-miner-ui/vitest.config.ts
+++ b/apps/loopover-miner-ui/vitest.config.ts
@@ -7,6 +7,7 @@ export default defineConfig({
   test: {
     environment: "jsdom",
     globals: true,
+    globalSetup: ["../../test/helpers/vitest-global-setup-node-version.ts"],
     setupFiles: ["./vitest.setup.ts"],
     include: ["src/**/*.test.{ts,tsx}"],
     coverage: {
diff --git a/apps/loopover-ui/vitest.config.ts b/apps/loopover-ui/vitest.config.ts
index 158f9c0518..a7a6168772 100644
--- a/apps/loopover-ui/vitest.config.ts
+++ b/apps/loopover-ui/vitest.config.ts
@@ -10,6 +10,7 @@ export default defineConfig({
   test: {
     environment: "jsdom",
     globals: true,
+    globalSetup: ["../../test/helpers/vitest-global-setup-node-version.ts"],
     setupFiles: ["./vitest.setup.ts"],
     include: ["src/**/*.test.{ts,tsx}"],
   },
diff --git a/packages/loopover-ui-kit/vitest.config.ts b/packages/loopover-ui-kit/vitest.config.ts
index 4d8c00fc3e..5eb6d63a40 100644
--- a/packages/loopover-ui-kit/vitest.config.ts
+++ b/packages/loopover-ui-kit/vitest.config.ts
@@ -12,6 +12,7 @@ export default defineConfig({
   test: {
     environment: "jsdom",
     globals: true,
+    globalSetup: ["../../test/helpers/vitest-global-setup-node-version.ts"],
     setupFiles: ["./vitest.setup.ts"],
     include: ["src/**/*.test.{ts,tsx}"],
   },
diff --git a/scripts/check-node-version.mjs b/scripts/check-node-version.mjs
index 7d8606889a..661a592f7e 100644
--- a/scripts/check-node-version.mjs
+++ b/scripts/check-node-version.mjs
@@ -5,8 +5,18 @@
 // followed by simply switching the active `node` (nvm/homebrew default change) with no reinstall, sails
 // straight past engine-strict on every later `npm run`. That's exactly the shape of gap that let the
 // Node 26 jsdom/localStorage bug (#7592/#7597/#7612) go unnoticed the first two times: a pile of
-// confusing downstream test failures instead of one clear "wrong Node version" message up front. Wired as
-// a `pretest*` hook (see package.json) on the commands people actually run vitest through.
+// confusing downstream test failures instead of one clear "wrong Node version" message up front.
+//
+// The actual, complete guarantee is test/helpers/vitest-global-setup-node-version.ts, wired as every
+// vitest.config.ts's `globalSetup` (root, workers, and every workspace with its own config) -- it covers
+// every invocation path, including a direct `npx vitest run test/unit/<file>.test.ts` (which the
+// contributing skill docs explicitly recommend for fast iteration), not just specific npm script names.
+// This module is ALSO wired as a `pretest*` hook (see package.json) on the highest-traffic commands
+// (test, test:ci, test:coverage, test:workers, ui:test) as a genuinely-faster fail there -- it runs
+// before npm even spawns vitest, vs. globalSetup which still pays vitest's own startup cost first -- but
+// that hook is a nicety on top of the globalSetup guarantee, not a substitute for it; it was originally
+// (incompletely) the only mechanism, missing 8 of 12 vitest-invoking script names (#7592-class gap,
+// caught by a repo-wide audit after #7619 shipped).
 import { readFileSync } from "node:fs";
 import { fileURLToPath } from "node:url";
 import semver from "semver";
diff --git a/test/helpers/vitest-global-setup-node-version.ts b/test/helpers/vitest-global-setup-node-version.ts
new file mode 100644
index 0000000000..d3c03f53bf
--- /dev/null
+++ b/test/helpers/vitest-global-setup-node-version.ts
@@ -0,0 +1,20 @@
+import { checkNodeVersion } from "../../scripts/check-node-version.mjs";
+
+/**
+ * Vitest `globalSetup` -- the only mechanism that covers *every* vitest invocation path, not just
+ * specific npm script names. scripts/check-node-version.mjs's `pretest*` hooks (package.json) only fire
+ * for the exact npm script names they're wired to -- they can never cover a direct
+ * `npx vitest run test/unit/<file>.test.ts` invocation, which the contributing skill docs explicitly
+ * recommend for fast iteration (reference.md, SKILL.md). A globalSetup runs once before any test file,
+ * regardless of how vitest was invoked, so this is the real backstop; the pretest hooks are a
+ * (redundant but harmless) earlier fail for the specific commands they cover.
+ */
+export default function setup(): void {
+  const { ok, requiredRange, nodeVersion } = checkNodeVersion();
+  if (!ok) {
+    throw new Error(
+      `Running Node ${nodeVersion}, but this repo requires ${requiredRange} (see .nvmrc / package.json engines). ` +
+        "Switch to the pinned Node version (e.g. `nvm use`) before running tests.",
+    );
+  }
+}
diff --git a/vitest.config.ts b/vitest.config.ts
index 2289653013..851063f032 100644
--- a/vitest.config.ts
+++ b/vitest.config.ts
@@ -16,6 +16,7 @@ export default defineConfig({
     environment: "node",
     globals: true,
     testTimeout: 15000,
+    globalSetup: ["./test/helpers/vitest-global-setup-node-version.ts"],
     // Retry a failed test once before failing the run. The loopover gate auto-CLOSES a contributor PR
     // on a red required CI, so a single transient flake must not kill an honest PR; a deterministic
     // failure still fails both attempts (and vitest flags the retried test as flaky so it stays visible).
diff --git a/vitest.workers.config.ts b/vitest.workers.config.ts
index 2b6106f69a..a1924d8567 100644
--- a/vitest.workers.config.ts
+++ b/vitest.workers.config.ts
@@ -9,6 +9,7 @@ export default defineConfig({
   ],
   test: {
     globals: true,
+    globalSetup: ["./test/helpers/vitest-global-setup-node-version.ts"],
     // Retry once before failing — a transient flake must not red the required CI and one-shot-close a PR.
     retry: 1,
     include: ["test/workers/**/*.test.ts"],